crazy week

i love kids. i cant help it. i love them despite their obvious lessthanlovingfeelings towards me. :)

this past week of relief teaching at my mums school has been crazy. i expected to have a hard time cos of my class load, but i didnt expect pure abuse! ive been openly cussed at in various languages, been crudely gestured to every lesson, had half my class walk out on me on my first day, marked a journal entry that was entirely about how pathetic i am etcetcetc.

and yes its all quite funny in retrospect but i cannot tell u how awful it is when its actually happening. so so so awful. especially when u really dont know what uve been doing wrong. yes, i know half of it is cos they know ure not much older and that ure temporary, but it still sucks.

and then theres the tough ones who suddenly dun seem so tough when they write to you in their journals and ur heart reallyreally melts and u want to write back an essay long reply but u end up writing one thats about 5 lines long because u have about 200 journals to mark by the next day. actually its more cos ure not sure that they want to read ur essay long reply.

then theres the cutie who asked me if animal farm was a true story :) hahahah. and the boy who shouted very happily to me from across the overheadbridge. and the girls who followed me to the sch gate saying that i just COULDNT leave, and basically despite all the horrible things that have happened so far, theres always the small few things that eventually outweigh everything else.

i love kids. (i know, 16 year olds arent so much kids anymore. but still) i love that they actually turn up at school eventhough they hate it.

i wish they loved me too :)

varnam! hahah

so funny i find myself thinking about varnam in the midst of all my uncontrollable thinking. her mind is so topsy turvy, everything nice just hurts.


i want to have it all.


You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

AND I HATE MOOD SWINGS BUT HTF DO YOU CONTROL THEM

james morrison

i was meant to tread the water
now I've gotten in too deep,
for every piece of me that wants you
another piece backs away
Please give me something,
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try

ouch

"Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. 'I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.' Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants.'"

the bratpack.

theres a thin line between being egoistic and taking pride in yourself.



ure an idiot and i, am not.

advance to level 3

im suchhh a dumby haiya i just just realised that i shouldnt get angry that i cant stay mad at you- its a good, good thing. cos = love trumps anger, even when u really really want to be angry. and we all know that anger leads to bad things and basically this is just good. and this i didnt realise cos i was too busy being pissed off that i gave a rat's ass in the first place.